Dirt, filth, garbage, refuse, waste, leavings. Ankle deep, bin full, heaps of it, spread out all over. The carnival village: Stinking toilets, overflowing feces, urine, piss all around. Unbelievable: said the visitor, disgusting: said the tourist, incredible: said the timeshare man. I do not so much convey my own opinion, although it is the same as the above, as well as the opinion of people that surround me. Follows here some opinions of people that saw it. One said this; "Me, as a visitor and a person who has seen the past, I know that most local people now live in nice houses. Made of blocks and bricks, with windows and running water, electricity and a waterproof roof. These people do not really appreciate that luxury. When they have a party, they built shacks like their forefathers lived in and they behave like wild animals, get drunk and throw garbage all around. Another one said this: Carnival originally is a celebration after a month of fasting. One does not have sex, abstains from drinking alcohol, from eating expensive and rich foodstuffs, and is modest in everything. That is the month before carnival. The party is the ending of a month of serious contemplation of God and His creation, to celebrate and to give thanks. Here, nobody fasts, not even for a day. The party therefore has lost its significance and has become nothing but a wild feast of mindless people that go about like a ship that has lost its rudder. As the meaning of the celebration has been lost, the party itself has become an ugly ting.' These facts are worth contemplating. For the next year I will have a few suggestions. The committee that steers the whole village collects a good amount of money. Where that goes to, I do not want to know this time, but for next year It should have to go to a cleaning crew on a daily basis, to clean up constantly in the village. Just like after the parade has passed, some very good guys pick up the debris; that should also be done in the village grounds. Bins should be emptied constantly, the toilets should be supervised and kept clean. That is such a disgusting degrading fact of the carnival organizers, that they get no compliment out of me. Oh, no. Spoken to locals, black, red and white, all agreed that the organizers where to blame for the filth and stink. I am of another meaning, slightly; I say all are to blame; the parents that did not teach the children to be neat and clean, the children that did not teach their parents to behave, the politicians that did not organize a way for their unthinking subjects to dispose of' their energy correctly, the religious leaders that did not prepare the partygoers before the party of the true meaning of carnival. Ask anyone, and all will say that this year something was not there. Something un-definable, unspeakable, something spiritual. Zest, conviction, integrity, spontaneity, motivation. It was like without direction, without hope. We have to open our eyes and minds to the reality and fix this knowledge in our hearts for next year. To make sure that we progress towards separate status and show the rest of the world that we are not a bunch of filthy pigs and that we can celebrate in style next year, artfully and splendidly. For some it may have been fun, but splendor there was none.

I am very upset by the letter from Gerard Bijnsdorp, where he accuses me from having called the Sint Maarten revelers filthy pigs. His wrong interpretation hurts my image not a little and I

would like you to print the following: please

Be an example Bijnsdorp.

Hi, Gerard, you ask who the fog I am. Well, if you would turn your foggy mind inward for once, and find out who you are , you will instantly know who I am. And who everybody is for that matter. You accuse me of calling people filthy pigs. I never wrote that. Put on your reading glasses, and check: I wrote; "Open your eyes and show the world that we ( and that includes me, not you of course) are not (!) a bunch of filthy pigs. But I can understand that you feel personally offended, as a teacher for so many years, you have failed to teach your pupils cleanliness, and the bad that comes from polluting the place with plastics and excrements and urine. You may not have been at the carnival village in Marigot in January where the bins were emptied regularly and the toilets were kept very clean. Still everybody there enjoyed themselves, as much as if not more then on the village Dutch side. You try to make the filth look good by comparing it with more filth in Holland. You must know that better than me, I have been only 3 month in Holland in the last 20 years. By the way Bijnsdorp, how come you know so much about bribes and bribery, wich you call fruits, in an attempt to make fun about that ugly thing. Do you know people who give, gave, received or receive those? Nice company you're in. Keep it up for the betterment of the country. Defend the dirt, make it part of the party, urinate in the pond and be an example for generations to come. Please get your head out of the fog, clean your glasses when you read my letters and show the world that you are not a filthy pig.

Born a free man, and having stayed free from indoctrination by church, state and society, all I want to do is free my fellow men. I have put myself an impossible task. Surrounded by enslaved people who cannot imagine what freedom is. Having a free mind, an open brain, and one can never get stuck in only one pattern of thought. One is always open to new ideas, learns daily new concepts and absorbs new information constantly. An enslaved mind accepts those things it was forced to learn as a child, and sticks to that for the rest of its life. Imprisoned in the past are those that Jesus called dead, sleeping. "Leave the dead to the dead", he said to someone who was torn between following him or staying behind.

I visited a church on Easter Sunday, just to see for myself once ageing what really went on. Lured by a free breakfast I went in and got the books of songs and writings. The music was good, I sung from the deep of my heart, with a voice so full and clear, that other people looked approvingly at me with great smiles. Then came the sermon. The absurdity of Jesus coming back to life, in the flesh, was spoken about over and over again. As if it was a real true happening. With every word I got sicker and sicker. To hear someone trying to convince a group of listeners of a totally unreal happening that should have taken place thousands of years ago was pathetic. And when the speaker started raising his voice trying to impress the congregation that the resurrection really took place, I felt a disgust so great that I had to leave the place. Why should anyone scream at me to convince me of something that he himself did not witness, that is not only unlikely, but truely impossible, and why should all those people accept that screaming and ranting? That is when I saw the dead. And They did not care the screaming, they all said yes to the ridiculous statements from the pulpit and I felt what Jesus felt on the cross, when he said; "Forgive them Father, they know not what they do". One person next to me understood the spark of freedom I conveyed and he too woke up, a Lazarus for true, who came away with me from the rest of the group and said later how glad he was to have found someone who had a clear   head. That what never happened, never been repeated, never been proven, but only exist in churchmakers writings, that must be shouted out over the heads of the non-thinking people is a sign that this world is not yet ready for freedom. Hypnotic leadership by church authorities seems to continue and whatever we may believe, politicians have little if anything to say about the running of the country. As long as people truly believe that they are born in sin and feel guilty from day 1, the church can manipulate them as they like.

No politician can change that, unless we separate the Church and the State. Only freedom of the mind, good honest education can help. In 1633 Galileo Galilei was condemned to lifelong imprisonment by the church because he declared the sun the centre of our planetary system. The church has held unto lies and fabrications hand and tooth for centuries. Even today I run the risk to be accused of hearsay , because I do not care if Jesus came back to life and flew away to the sky. That does not help me to become enlightened. Only His Love is my guide, not the stories around Him.

The law on littering for instance. If I leave a bag of garbage on the public road, you can call that littering. If I run my septic water on the public road, what do you call that??? It happens now for years and months on the Suckergarden road next to the Tropical Building, belonging to a Mr. Labega. This building houses a number of illegal’s, and has its septic tank water constantly run over the public road. Telephoned to the head of the department of hygiene, the headman, Tony Boyrard told me on the third call, that he had written a letter about the sewage water, without any results. I myself wrote in The Daily Herald two month ago, no result. I talked to several departments, to Public Works, where I got to speak to four people who all said that it was not their responsibility, and Mr. Buncamper who is responsible, was not available. There is a rumor that public works is going to make a sewage pipeline, in the far future. That is if the money from Holland does not disappear somewhere on the way. Untill that happens, the owner of the  building is responsible. The law on littering should be enforced.

If nothing happens after this letter gets published, I will contact the prosecutor, to ask him why the law does not get enforced, applied. Gedogen? Does the government people allow Mr. Labega to pollute, because he is one of them? Tolerate it, as a dumptruck cost money and Mr. Labega does not want to pay? Or will he run a pipe under the road so that the sewage runs straight in the pond, under the road, instead of over it? I am sick and tired of the stink that sticks to my car every time I pass there. At Archroad the stinking sewage is being led by an ingenious system of expensive gutters under the road into the pond. Great, shovel the dirt under the carpet. Now it pollutes the pond, for all that live around it, and the rest. Public Works, money from Holland pays for something that all the house owners are responsible for, and they should pay. All the shacks on Arch Road torn down? What happened after that idea was launched some time ago? Nothing, KOOP built a drainage. That happened, not to solve the problem, but to hide it. Instead of running over, it now runs under the road. At least it does not stick to my car any more.

People warn innocent  young girls  against older men. How come you never warn innocent older men against young girls seducing them. In the place where I sit typing, females come and go and there is this young one who came to stand behind me. With  her  arms around me she laid her head  against mine to look over my shoulder at what I write. She sucked tenderly on my earlobe and breathes hotly through my hair. I try in my innocence to work on but she really  distracts me. I almost lost my concentration as she pressed her soft breasts against my back. One hand into the front of my shirt squeezes my nipple. I feel embarrassed, my manhood awakens. And she smells sexy, like a seductress. I am just a man of flesh and blood, you know.

I ask her please to stop, she whispers: “Why, don’t you like me?”

I say : “Yes, but you are so young, go play with the young man I saw you with.”

She says : “No, I tried him already, he’s  just a boy, I want a man, I want  you for true.”

She arouses my male ego not a little. She flicks her tongue into my ear, one hand strokes my breast, the other holds my head gently;                       

“Give it to me, come on, let’s go!”, she whispers hotly, urgently, pleading, her voice lower than normal. Here I sit, erect, trying to work. How should you advice a situation like this to develop? The girl was 110 pounds, a month short of 18  and  determined to get what she wanted (sweet, honest, innocent, straight forward love making).  If I said no, I missed  the chance  to give my pure, sweet and true love where it is wanted. If I say no, she misses a mellow, safe and expert, mature pleasure. God only knows what she will find somewhere else. Inexperienced dissatisfaction, risk of abuse, pregnancy, primitive instinctive sex without climax, even rape? If I say no and something bad happens to that girl because of my refusal, I’ll never forgive myself. Who is seducing who and who is innocent here?

O,la la, les francais. They are checking on religious sects. Well, they better talk to me, as I am someone who has checked them already long ago. My conclusions are that the biggest sect is the Roman Catholic one, then comes the Protestant Christian one, then the Muslim and Hindu ones, and following those, all the other ones, too numerous to mention. All those sects are in some or other way discriminatory towards the others. Which is the explanation for the French investigation. Being Christianized some centuries ago, the originally pagan country worshipped trees, fire, the moon, stones and what not. Once they became members of the Roman sect the most hideous crimes were committed in the time of the inquisition. If you so much as owned a black cat, you would end up on the pyre. Today they jealously look at any other club, group or organization that takes away members from their powerful lobby. Oh, la la, les francais, Liberte, Egalite... Talk about freedom of religion. I do not commit myself to any club group, lobby, party or religion, although I have been invited to join by many. I rather stay a free man, with my own knowledge and my own god in my own soul. My own God, who has no name, no

substance, no attachment whatsoever. That way I see clearly what others are doing or trying to do. And honestly, most are very good and commendable indeed. The biggest is not to my mind the best, as it insists to blind faith, which is logically foolish. To blindly accept anything not even a blind man should do, let alone one that has eyes that see. Obedience, guilt and repression are the pillars on wich these sects' credo is built; and calls itself a religion because they mix the idea of God with it. To attack other religious groups under the excuse of human rights is nothing but the same that the Romans have done since the time of Julius Cesar, accuse and destroy, in order to rule alone. In these times that (some) people slowly

become educated, the dominating superiority of the church leaders is crumbling and people are looking for alternatives to winged creatures, the magic tricks of changing water into wine, and walking on water. Those things belong to fairy tales. People are looking for more realistic experiences. How many enlightened beings did 2000 years of Christian religion produce?

Not more than one can count on the fingers of one hand. It is like a gardener with 1000 trees and only one blooms, is that a good gardener? More like the one tree blooms in spite of him, not because of him. So it was with master Eckehardt who was enlightened in the Middle Ages, and a few others. They became enlightened to show the church its absurd demands on the minds of the people. And to become enlightened should be the ultimate goal of religion, of any religion. Once awakened, when one sees the light, and God is found, is realized, nothing else is important and a group, a leader or a place of worship has become superfluous, unnecessary. That is why the religious groups do everything to prevent its members from becoming enlightened.

Nobody but a master can help a seeker. Jesus had found it, Buddha had found, Mohammed and Krishna had found. However, they could only help those that were with them, once they died it was over. No matter how one follows the memory of those masters, only a living master, a present One can help, but they are few and far apart as the world does not tolerate Holy men, they destroy the groups’ reason for existence. Oh, lala, who shall awaken next? And: how to keep the group together??? Ask the French, they may know.

Now that springtime is here and the buds are bursting with new life, hens are trotting along with their chicks, the dogs are making little puppies all over the place, I have this impossible wish. For a springtime of the mind. For a new awakening of all enslaved minds. This came about because I was visited by a certain individual who carried a Bible, and wanted to chat with me. So I made him sit down and let him talk. "Who made the mountains, and who made the fair blue sky?" asked he. “Not relevant", did I reply, "Those things are here, how they came to be does not change my day a bit, I just enjoy all that".

"But mister", said he, "do you have no respect for He who made all that?" came the accusing answer. When I asked where he got all that knowledge from he triumphantly held up the Book and told me it was Gods word. "Well, that may be as it is , but where are you yourself,?" asked I. He wondered what I meant with that.

"Where are you, what do you think, where is your mind about this, what does your spirit say?" I insisted. After a good while thinking he admitted that he had no mind of his own, he believed the book and that was all there was for him. Then I pointed out that he was thus an extension of the book, just another page, an appendix, a useless addition. I told him to go look for himself, and when was found to come back and talk to me as a man to a man, I could look in the book anytime myself, he did hot have to be the book for me.

Springtime of the mind, wake up from the long long sleep, the mental slavery that Bob Marley sings about, be someone, not a zombie who cannot think a single original thought. The free man Jesus called Lazarus out of the death back into life in the symbolic parable to illustrate how people should wake up from the spiritual death and come to life again. So am I calling all to wake up in this new spring, and live. Only when Sint Maarteners have become free people can the island become free itself. It is my believe that as long as people have no minds of their own, they cannot become free of anything. Then they will always follow those that scream loudest, even if that scream is foolish. My wish is impossible, I know it, so to all that are deep asleep I better say: "Dream Sweet".

Sitting talking to this person of the other sex, less than half my age, it were our two spirits that met. My spirit was happy to contact another free being, her spirit happy to meet with information that not even the internet could provide. Our two spirits merged, complemented each other, melted into one. Our skincolors, our age, our education, our social status, all external values dropped away. Our spiritual beings had suddenly no say over our material hunger and now anything could happen.

What other people, who saw us, said about the two of us, whatever they thought, was non-existant. God was close to us, so close that we were out of this world. And forgetting our selves we became one and we made love and experienced bliss complete. The alchemy of extasy had brought us total oneness with our Maker.

Afterwards we lay completely satisfied, entangled in each others arms and legs, reluctant to separate and return to our individual realities, wondering if we were for real.